Friday, June 30, 2006

Q2: Choosing a Donor

How did you (or do you) and your partner / spouse go about picking a donor? What are the most important characteristics to you and why? Are there any donors you would not choose?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

A1 – Addressing DI Publicly –Bob

Q1: Why do you think its important for men like ourselves to publicly address the issues surrounding DI and our own thoughts and feelings publicly?

It is important that men address DI publicly to decrease the amount of DI related angst that our children may accumulate as they grow. Our children did not choose conception via DI. My wife and I chose DI to build a family. The donor chose to provide chromosomes. Our daughter had no choice, yet our choice will be with her throughout her lifetime.

There are at least a couple ways this blog can reduce my daughter’s, and other DI-conceived children’s emotional baggage. The first is to help us fathers practice communicating the issues of DI. As we discuss, we will become more knowledgeable on the subject, and open to other opinions.

This forum can also serve as a tool to reverse at least partially social unacceptability held toward the use of DI, especially when used by heterosexual couples with male factor infertility.

Ultimately, for those of us who choose full disclosure, our experience here will make it easier to begin and sustain a conversation regarding the circumstances of our children’s conception; it will become more natural to be open with them. I hope that will help my daughter be more accepting of how it is she came to be.

A1 - Addressing DI Publicly - Max

Q1: Why do you think its important for men like ourselves to publicly address the issues surrounding DI and our own thoughts and feelings publicly?

How can I give my potential future children a sense of pride in who they are if I as an infertile man, live my life in shame ?!
Infertility is not a dirty word. It’s amazing, nowadays we can openly talk about Aids, Homosexuality, breast cancer and erection problems just to name a few but mention male infertility and the whole room goes quiet !
It’s time to break boundaries set by years of secrecy and misinformation and speak out loud. Time to share our stories with the world in order to support those who share our pain and dispel all untrue beliefs via open communication.

Unlike women, men do not have many places to find support and certainly we tend to be our worst enemy when it comes to sharing our feelings, but for me I see this as a challenge .

I find that discussing issues surrounding my infertility is liberating in a way and it helps me deal with it. I have often wondered what my purpose in life is since I cannot father children of my own and so perhaps the answer is to help others who share my predicament by sharing my feelings and opening up a line of communication with the greater community to promote better understanding of male infertility.

Monday, June 12, 2006

A1 – Addressing DI Publicly - Richard

Q1: Why do think its important for men like ourselves to publicly address the issues surrounding DI and our own thought and feelings publicly?

Why address our issues publicly? I guess there are a number of reasons for me. I've known about my infertility for only a short period of time and, as a person who likes talking things to death, discussing our decision to use DI with others just sort of came naturally. I think, had I tried to keep quiet about it, it would have eaten away at me from the inside. Talking about it gives me a chance to vent my frustrations, fears, anger and sadness almost like an exorcism. Writing about my experiences act as pressure release valve and helps to keep me sane.

But I guess there is another side to Eric’s question. Why do I think other men should share their feelings about DI in public? Well, because there are a lot more of us out there that can’t bring themselves to do it. Men who live with those fears and frustrations everyday but cannot open their mouths to tell anyone. And it’s not their fault. Society worships fertility and links it inextricably to virility. For those men brought up in families where men don’t cry or show their feelings, telling someone that they are infertile must be practically impossible. Those men deserve a voice and for now, at least, I guess we are that voice.

Q1: Addressing DI Publicly

Why do think its important for men like ourselves to publicly address the issues surrounding DI and our own thoughts and feelings publicly?

This is the first question of an ongoing series of questions being posed to several men who are either already DI Dads, TTC (trying to conceive) via DI, or are considering DI. Look for posts in the coming days from each of these gentlemen. All comments will be moderated.

Eric