Friday, October 20, 2006

A7 - Told Your Family?

The question is actually have you told your family that your kids will be or are DI and how did you tell them? For that matter how open have you been in telling family, friends, or even co-workers?

We told our parents during the Christmas holiday, about two months before the birth. My parents, we just simply told them that we used a donor. My father-in-law is almost completely deaf, so we printed out a sort of DI fact sheet, and handed it to him to read as we told my mother-in-law, so he would have an idea of what was being discussed. We thought it was important to explain the situation before the birth.

My wife’s closest sister was also told before the birth. As for other siblings, telling them coincided with the publication of the June 2006 USA Today article in which I was quoted. We had to tell at some point, and the article was a good ice breaker. Everyone we have told has been supportive.

We have told no one else, other than family that we used DI. I know that it’s nothing to hide, or nothing to be ashamed of, but we have decided to keep it private at this point.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Q7: Told Your Family?

The question is actually have you told your family that your kids will be or are DI and how did you tell them? For that matter how open have you been in telling family, friends, or even co-workers?

Saturday, October 07, 2006

A6 - Thoughts of the Donor - Richard

When you think of the donor what are your thoughts? Do you find him threatening in any manner? How would you react if your child [children] indicates they want to find the donor?

I'd be lying if I said that I'm pleased that he was ever needed to help create my family, but at the same time I recognise what an incredible gift he has given us and, above all I feel like I will never be able to thank him enough for what he has given us. I have the fears that I suspect most men in my position have but I also know, deep down, that those fears are unfounded.

One thing that I find myself wondering a great deal is how old our donor is. I know that in reality it makes no difference. It will be twenty years before we are in a position that we can even try to find him. But at the same time I'm intrigued to know whether or not he and I are of the same generation or whether he is considerably younger than I am and we share little in the way of common experiences.

I have almost no doubt that my children will want to find him and the thought does not particularly worry me. I have always figured that if I live under the assumption that they will want to find him then, if they do not, it will have much less of an impact on me. If I were them, I would want to find him and find out the kind of person that he is.

Above all I hope that one day he is a man that I can call a friend.