When you think of the donor what are your thoughts? Do you find him threatening in any manner? How would you react if your child [children] indicates they want to find the donor?
My thoughts regarding the donor is that he was a college kid, about 11 years my junior looking to make some cash by “donating” sperm. I know that the donation process was not simple, and there were many hoops to jump through, so it wasn’t a quick cash endeavor by any means. Also, I guess there was some element of altruism, and a desire to help a family such as mine, but I expect he wouldn’t have provided the sperm without the cash payment.
We’ve heard his recorded interview now, and he seems like a good person, with a solid outlook on life. I don't find him threatening in the least. I just find it a bit disheartening that he is so young; that I needed help from someone in his early twenties to build my family.
As for my reaction if Dori would want to find him, I don’t know. We’ve entered into a contract of anonymity of sorts. My wife, the donor and I agreed to anonymity. Dori did not. I have to imagine that by donating sperm, the donor carries a certain degree of risk that the children created by the donation will be curious about their identity in the future.
If Dori were interested in finding out who he is, and contacting him, I would help her all I could, after she has reached the age of 18. But, I won’t be taking any preemptive measures to identify him before that. I intend to honor his wish for anonymity, until Dori makes an adult decision otherwise.